My Sick Week

About my ‘holiday’ last week, it was like a dream to me cos basically everything to me seems to be ‘on hold’ or stop. I didn’t eat much (but didn’t lose much weight), I didn’t do much thing too (no wonder I didn’t lost weight ha ha) cos I felt tire easily. I believe caring and loving is what a patient needed most when he/she is sick, at least this is how I feel. And I am glad that I have my loving sisters who were there for me, and now I love them even more. I am lucky to have special friend who also accompanied me as much as he could.

During those sick days, some of my close colleagues sent their regards to me, but not from the management level. Even some of my blogger’s friends also wish me ‘Get well soon’. Perhaps when work life is so busy, the management will tends to forget the tendency to care for their employer. Only when you are back to your work station, they will ask “How are you now”? I don’t expect anything from them either, but this brought me some questions, “How much do I actually care for my own family, friends and colleagues?” “How much time do I really spend with my family?” “And how should I live in a healthier lifestyle, so that my sister can less worry about me?” I am so sorry that I made her so worry for me last week, which I can sensed her sadness there.

In our culture, we know well that we don’t express ourselves much, even when we do really care for someone. I guess this is the reason why we don’t feel much love and passion around us. So I will want myself to be more passionate in life, to let my loved one feel my love, to brighten up my life in any way, even life is so busy.

And now if you ask me to weight between my job and family, I think my answer is obvious. Cos my family can never be replaced and they are the one who were there when I need love and caring.

Back To Normal

Lucky for me that my temperature was back to normal after resting at home on the 3rd day, without much help from any medicine of relief fever which I am allergy to.

Today my life is back to normal, by attending my course again.

After my class, I met special friend at City Hall for dinner before heading home.

Me at Out of the Pan Restaurant at City Hall, at last get to go out for dinner.

My devil mango drink but taste like syrup

My vegetarian Mama Margherita

The little fountain in the restaurant

After great dinner, we went Hzzgen-Dazs for our dessert. Just to end our day with some sweetness.

Higher Fever Brought Me To A&E

My whole Sat was surrounded with heat, unwanted heat, as my fever and pain did not reduce any, so basically I sleep the day away. I didn’t mention this before, actually I am allergy to Panadol which contain paracetamol, one of the necessary medicine for fever relief (but secretly n risky, I will take one to relief the fever. Seem this time it is not working) It hit my sis’s alarm when she sees my fever (at 38deg plus) have no improvement at all, so decided to bring me to A&E dept at TTS during the night time.

Only one visitor with one patient was allowed to enter the clinic, and pls be reminded to bring both I/C along, else entrance is not permitted. Waited for long two hours, finally got the doc consultation and exam I was virus infection (Let me keep the details to myself). I was told to admit “24hours observation ward” for further review.

Note: This “24hours observation ward” is not the same as normal ward.

So my whole Sunday was in the tire, painful, heaty and sleepy condition, ‘ruled’ by those scheduled routine. ‘Ms Tan xxxxx, pls take your medicine’. ‘Ms Tan xxxxx, time to take you temperature.’ ‘Ms Tan xxxxx, your lunch is here.’ ‘Ms Tan xxxxxx I need to inject you……..’ Then I can feel my life is closer to the recycle routine. No TV, no radio – that is one of the diff between 24hrs & the norm. Luckily special friend was there with me the whole day, with a lot of newspaper and magazine.

Blood test, ultrasound test done. All ok except no sight of improvement on fever.

Docs with senior doc consult review time, 8.30am, 3.30pm and 10.30pm. Each time I requested to discharge but insisted on the last round. Senior doc allowed me to go home at my own risk taken, to bring back my 38plus deg fever. 7 days hospital leave to let me rest at home.

It took quite a while to settle the discharge administration process and medicine collection, when reach home it was passed mid-night.

Monday, fever becomes my closest ‘friend’ and it bring along with diarrhea. Luckily my appetite return bit by bit and I realized how wonderful it is to be able to appreciate the food we always have. I am still fighting hard with these two ‘friend’ but seriously speaking, they gave me a lot of viewing too, will share with you all when I am getting better.

Fever

I am on leave today and suppose to do something for myself. But now, it was cancelled.

Had been struggling myself through the whole yesterday, went for one meeting after another. When reached home, I forced myself to eat a little and went to bed immediately. Slight fever and whole body is aching. Woke up at least once each hour to go toilet and to drink more water during the night.

Finally dawn arrived, I felt much better. Got myself to sleep more to 'compensate' the loss sleep during the night. My kind sister made some "Lin Yang" for me to drink, ate some breakfast but suddenly fever come again. I guess having fever is like this, up and down, up and down. Took one Panadol, and went back to sleep.

During my sleep, I dreamt all my Brazilian Kakis are in Singapore and we are having lot of fun. Guess I miss them so much, miss their fun-loving which I think I hardly have it in Singapore. Sometime, you really need to put some effort to make life a little more interesting in Singapore, else it can be quite bore & stress during normal routine.(You can be busy but still feel boring)

Management

I remembered taking one of the core unit - Mangement 100 not long ago, the lecturer taught us about how a manager should be managing his team. Such as how to organise, do planning, get the right man to do the right job, human relationship etc. All mentioned about IQ, but what about EQ?

This question pop out of my mind after I attended my so-called first time Management Project Meeting. My big boss wanted to have the feel of it since I am the project coodinator of this project. (Every project have a representative from each dept, like Commercial dept, Engineering dept and of cos, the project management to gather all info for the project for weekly meeting). And this Management meeting is held monthly from all section heads to further discuss about problems occur.

I can't be talking abou the topis discussed since it's confidential. But sitting behind the big round table, looking at all the managers (from section head to ED/MD), I can feel that it is so negative to become part of management. I am not saying there is no positive thinking and good behaviour among them, but looking at the fire shooting around (but yet I still feel so cold cos I am sick, again, sigh), the negative sides of it covered everything. Political, saying different stories in front of the big bosses, doing "tai chi", and for the first time I can realy feel why they always say big bosses see only big picture cos they don't even want to listen a word more about the explanation. Perhaps time consume. Could it due to each different characteristic or to join in the 'culture', everyone have to act 'big and fierce' throughout the meeting.

So I see no EQ in this meeting at all. I do understand it is not easy being a manager is not easy cos you have to due to more things, more (diff level) people, big picture. But does that means being a manger, you can throw pamper at others, hinting that at least I can throw up my stress???? My friend always said to me, you are not a manager so you won't be able to understand how stressful and tough the job can be. Maybe so, I am not in that position, so I never able to understand but try to understand, if they can use EQ (control their temper) in front of the big bosses, why can't they use EQ in front of his staff?

Another question out, did I ever respect any of my bosses here????

One At A Time, plsssss......

As usual, I went to work in the early morning and I met my colleague at the bus-stop, waiting for the feeder bus. Both of us looked so tire (as she is not fully recover from her sickness yet) and in fact we are tire. Then suddenly, I felt left side of my neck aching. Then I said to myself, "Oh, come on. Pls do not let all the aching problem come all at one time. I am so tire of having here pain, there pain. Do I age so much over night?"

So throughout my journey to work, I felt so uneasy and disturbed. I didn't even bother to go for breakfast when reached office and was hesitating whether should I visit my company doctor or not. Finally, I can't stand the aching which has more or less disturbing my life, I went to the medical center to see the doc. Told him my problem and most importantly, I can't get good sleep for the past few nights. This young doc (luckily not the other old doc who is strict and fierce most of the time) gave me one day MC to rest at home.

But my sister think I should go to visit Chinese doc again, as she felt the previous doc I went is not good at all. So my nephew drove me all the way from Yishun to Toa Payoh to see this doc, which he only see patients from 1pm to 6pm. The doc told me, while treating my problem, that the previous doc did not do the good job. The main problem was my nerve of both shoulder is 'out of place', so he just need to adjust it back. It was not as painful as the previous one and really, I feel so muc better after that. Then he said, I should feel even better tomorrow (Is he hinting me that if I still feel the pain, I can go back and see him FOC????).

And now, 3pm at home, I am going for a good sleep before going out for group discussion with my classmates in the evening. Frankly speaking, I still think I can't fully feel relax when I still have so much thing in my mind. My assignment, my attachment at work, the IQC........sigh, that's life. Anyway, go to sleep first.

Am I a Problematic Girl?

For the past two nights before falling asleep, I felt sudden pain at the front right side (below my stomach) of my body. I do not know what it should be call at that part of my body, but I can feel the nerve is pulling very tight that make me feel the pain. But what upset me most is that how little I know about the altas of my own body. Hmmm, I think not only that, I am poor in Geography, history, physical, chemistry, literature..... basically what I had learnt from school, I only know a little each.


So I go online to find out more about our body and I guess the part that I feel pain is appendictis (confined to intensive) (肠). Should be ok as long as the pain is bearable and short term.

Aiyo, am I a problematic girl? First is my back ache (when I stand too long, I can feel the aching), then follow by my neck which till now I can feel my nerve pain. And now is my intestine. Hope all these little pain don't become a big one.

Dinner At Fullerton

Went Fullerton for dinner with few colleagues and took some pic.

I simply love to watch the Merlion. Don't know why, it always make me feel peace and calm when watching her.

The Merlion Story

The beautiful view that the Merlion is watching at.........

And finally, my vegetarian set dinner at Palm Beach. The food is good but it will be better if they come separately. The weather was good to have our dinner outside the restaurant, along the riverside.

But I started to feel my whole body aching (due to my neck) at the end of the dinner. I already felt dead tired on my way home.

When Things Gone...Still Remain Here

Remember I mentioned about the unforunate young girl who just passed away not long ago.

Her last published story on her blog has been read by more people and I saw read that too. I do not know her but she looked so sweet from the blog (I was told not to publish her blog address) More hints was told from her last story, at least she was not in the good health (as I was told she is in pink health) for the last few days as she complaint of having diarrhea, tough breathing, fainting, weak & dizzy etc. And she was facing a lot of stress at her new contract work due to heavy workloads and deadline etc. A lot of people also leave down their remarks after knowing she is not longer here.

Comments mentioned to sue the company and manager, some commented it's not the company fault, she should have to do something about it to handle her stress. Should quit and don't focus only on money etc. Each comment have their own opinion.

To me, I just pray for her to rest in peace.

I believe same incident happens around us, around the world. Work is important but health and family is even more important. So pls do not do nothing when you feel stress that you know you might not able to handle. Talk to your boss if you think you can't handle your workload, talk to your family or friends to ease the stress. We only live for once. So you decide, you can chose "Work to Live" or "Live to Work".

Labour Day

Today is Labour Day but too bad there is no Golden Week in Singapore.


I suppose to meet my study group for discussion on our group assignment but my neck pain is still irritating me. So I thought I should go for Chinese doctor to massage on my neck to ease off the pain before meeting them. He said that my neck pain is due to the blood colt so he 'work real hard' to cure my pain. He mentioned that I should have get treatment earlier on and not till now. And right, this is the result of the treatment and I have to go back home cos I am not suppose to move around too much.

Sigh! Praying I can fully recover tmr.