Human - Conscience

Read about what Ivy wrote in her blog 'Human' and I can't stop thinking about this case that really happened around me in this modern society.

One family stay a couple with age 50+ , the man's father and their maid in one HDB Flat. The couple have their little Yong Tou Fu stall in the market, which they need to wake up very early in the morning to begin their business almost everyday.

Health always alarm when age is catching up, and this goes the same to their father (in fact, the couple too). That's why the maid was employed to take care of him when they went for their business. One fine day, the father fell down and need to be hospitalized. Then this made the couple more busier as they will have to split into two shifts to do their business and visit their father in the hospital.

Hmmm, sound like the father have only one son that he need to depend on? No, this poor father have 1 more son and daughter and 2 grand-children, which they are all adults. You know, when elderly fall sick, normally they will want to see their love ones, and in this case is their grand-children. First, his daughter refused to pay a visit to his father in hospital (this is not the first time and most of the time she refuses to go back home to visit too), cause superstitous made her have this decision. As the animal of 'Goat' in Lunar year, she is not allowed to go any 'unlucky' places. Then she also forbidden her husband and her two children to visit him too. And it really happened, left the poor father keep missing them so much. She also refuse to help the couple to take care of their father, when the couple were busy with the business (the only business to feed the whole family). Keep saying all things will crash her if she touch it.

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I can't believe this matter is happenning in Today's Singapore.

My first question is, where is her conscience been to? I do not know how the relationship between this father and daughter, but not as bad as I could imagine cos they still visit him during the Lunar New Year (or for the sake of doing only). But no matter what, shouldn't she have to respect her father when he needs their support most?

Secondly, the most annoying thing was that two grand-children didnt even bother to pay their grand-father a visit, not a single time, not even after their grand-father's request. I thought they are actually adults and can think at their own will, they can still visit their grand-father (with or without their mum's knowledge). Unless this is their will too. So, where is their conscience?

Third, less say of the father's son. Same too.

Forth, the worst thing is the man refuse the woman to have little gathering with her own sisters and brother when all her sliding wants is to have a small celebration for her birthday. Sometime I keep wondering, maybe with this kind of character, that's why the family ended up like this.

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Then I asked myself where is my conscience and how much have I done for my family.

I treasure the moment with my family members, do not take them for granted and value them always, especially when they are still with us. At least we live in the present, and do not regret the past. I do believe the strong bonds between family do not come just like this, it take times and opportunity to build them day by day. And the opportunity is within our hands, so do not let the word 'busy' to push away every opportunity.

Department and Company - What's the difference?

The conclusion "Are you working for the department or the company?"

This is what my colleague and I come out with this conclusion when we were talking about this, as one of our colleagues from the other department is trying to ask her not to involve too much of others work, even the asking is for the benefit of the company.

Hmmm, so should I work for my department or the company?????

What A "Thoughtful" Saturday

As planned, I went for my rebonding hairdo in the afternoon at Toa Payoh Central, at my usual saloon.

When special friend and I were on our way to MRT station, we passby the HDB hub and saw this "Remaking Our Heartland" exhibition, showcases rejuvenation and regeneration strategies for New, Middle-Aged and Old estates. Out of curiosity and to find out what will happen to my living estate - Yishun, I went in to take a look. Beside, the new building of the hospital, there will be library at this new extension of North Point (Completion by 2008) . Reservior and park will be expected too. Even the empty land just next to my house will be building more private housing too. What a change to be expected in near future.

Then we went to the computer fair at Suntec City, as I wanted to buy new MP3. Too bad, the one that I wanted to buy have run out of stock so we headed to Marina Square in order to avoid the crowd there. But at the end, we did not manage to watch any movie.

So we headed home and had quite a 'thoughtful' conversation during our journey home. Special friend mentioned that I will ended up to be 'someone' (so happen that this person is someone unwelcome to most of our colleagues) if I do not change my character. I will be just like her 10 years later cos I actually 1/3 behave like her now. It's fact, I know what my character is but hurtful to hear someone close to say that.

To me, just a coincident to meet someone who have similar character in the same office.

To me, it's a good thing to meet her so that I know I need to change (cos I got the chance to look at my future now), better for my own personality.

To me, it take time to change..... but how long is a big question and I think I should give myself shorter than I had previously gave myself.

So I will have to be more serious in my self-improvement cos it seems that I have not been doing good enough.

National Day Rally 2007 - City of Possibilities; Home for All

1. Introduction
2. Income Gap – leaving no one behind
3. Upgrading Education – levelling up society
4. Ageing Population – living active lives
5. Working Longer – more savings for old age
6. Improving CPF – building a nest egg
7. Upgrading & Renewal – best home for all
8. Forging Ahead – go for it together

I believe most of us watched the Rally last night, listening to the above topics that related to us, young and the elderly. There are so much that the government and ourselves need to do in order to have better life in this competitive world.

Well, at least one good news for us is the increasing of CPF 1% interest rate.

So for me, no more thinking of retire at age of 55, unless I am rich enough to survive and perhaps a bit more to go for vacation.

I am taking my part-time degree course and hope this will helps my salary increase by another 28% if 14% increase of wage for each schooling year. (Hope this apply for part-time student like me)

Another 30 over years and I will become one of the ageing population. Most likely, I will be staying alone as getting a partner is still a mystery to me. Perhaps I should save enough money to live in old folk home in future.

Well, hopefully housing rate do not increase to the highest when I hit the requirement age to buy my own house. Anyway I am working hard to save as much as I can to get my own HDB flat now.

See, I have quite a few to do for myself and sorry to say that, for my own next generation, I am not ready for that yet.

What about you?

Hurry up!

Just two weeks from now, I will be heading to Perth for a week to study as a full-time student. This is part of the programs for my part-time degree course at SIMM. Before we arrive there, our principle assigned three group projects to each group, two need to hand over when we reach the Curtin university, the last one we can finish after we are back.

Yet time is running out for the whole class. So much to do yet so little time. Ok I admit I am not that hardworking cos I still go out for my appointment. Just can't be that good girl like I used to be long long time ago, and do nothing but study. That's why I have to push myself harder a bit to complete my part before the deadline.

So hurry up!!!!!!

Beneficiary

Just recently, special friend told me that in Singapore, we are not allow to change our beneficiary (benefactor) as and when we want after we had made our nomination for all our CPF and insurance policy etc.

Unless you have stated as per your will (which means you can change your will), else you have to get agreement from your appointed beneficiary before you can amend it.

I have absolutely no idea about this and feels so surprise, even until now. Trying to find out more from the (Singapore) web but can't find any. I had been asking around my family and friends and got the same reaction like mine. I will check it out from my insurance broker to find out more.

Meanwhile, anyone up there know about this????

Alarm Clock

I left home to work at 5.40am everyday, passing few blocks before reaching bus-stop. The street was quiet and I can count the number of people walking on the street. Familiar faces but seldom did any one of us greet to each other.

The street or I should say the car park that I pass by every morning was so quiet that I can hear the ringing of the alarm from one of the windows. Ring….ring….ring…ring… but no one seems to be wakening up in that room. Hearing the ringing continue, I began to wonder did this wake the neighbours instead. Ha ha ha.

So coincidently, I was talking about waking up in the morning as special friend has been sleeping late recently.

SF: “I guess my alarm clock is not working.”
Me: “Alarm clock? I set my HP alarm to wake me up since they have this feature on the hp.”
SF: “Using HP? I don’t think this can wake me up.”
Me: “Well, then set to the loudest voice lor. Can always give it a try”
SF: “……..” (No reply)

Now I know why some people prefers alarm clock, you might need one that is loud enough to wake your neighbour before waking yourself.

Check out for the top ten most annoying alarm clocks.

$$$$ For Future House

I went to this Home Ideas Exhibition 2007 held at Suntec City.

No, I am yet to get my own HDB flat, still a couple of years to go before I reach the eligible age to buy own flat. But it is good to know the market price for the flat and the renovation charges; after all I still need to have enough saving before moving on to the next step.

To start from zero, I will have to get a HDB flat, guess might be a 4-room flat which might costs around 250k in few years time. (I can’t believe a 5-rooms HDB flat can cost more than 700K today). Then at least a 40k is needed to have fully furnished house, not much of luxury lifestyle at this cost. So a total estimating of 300K will be spend to get a roof, which hopefully can turn up a home for myself. Not a small amount, I mean how many people up there can really save so much in order to have comfortable shelter.

Of course, all of these can be pay by installment. Even paying the deposit itself can be tough for a single. Hmmm, I guess more than half of my earning will be gone by paying off all these debts. To those experienced guys up there, am I right?

Some of my friends teased me that I should get one man; at least I have someone to split all these costs. Ha ha ha, what an idea!

So at the end, to achieve for a home sweet home, I have to work harder than ever. Hope my goal in life does not stop for this house only.

What’s keep a love relationship lasts?

Love
Trust
Communication (of cos not in harsh way)
Commitment
Patient
Little tolerance, I guess.
(What’s more to learn in this learning curve?)

If one of the above is losing, can this relationship lasts?
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One more to add for the above, that is Understanding.

My Sick Week

About my ‘holiday’ last week, it was like a dream to me cos basically everything to me seems to be ‘on hold’ or stop. I didn’t eat much (but didn’t lose much weight), I didn’t do much thing too (no wonder I didn’t lost weight ha ha) cos I felt tire easily. I believe caring and loving is what a patient needed most when he/she is sick, at least this is how I feel. And I am glad that I have my loving sisters who were there for me, and now I love them even more. I am lucky to have special friend who also accompanied me as much as he could.

During those sick days, some of my close colleagues sent their regards to me, but not from the management level. Even some of my blogger’s friends also wish me ‘Get well soon’. Perhaps when work life is so busy, the management will tends to forget the tendency to care for their employer. Only when you are back to your work station, they will ask “How are you now”? I don’t expect anything from them either, but this brought me some questions, “How much do I actually care for my own family, friends and colleagues?” “How much time do I really spend with my family?” “And how should I live in a healthier lifestyle, so that my sister can less worry about me?” I am so sorry that I made her so worry for me last week, which I can sensed her sadness there.

In our culture, we know well that we don’t express ourselves much, even when we do really care for someone. I guess this is the reason why we don’t feel much love and passion around us. So I will want myself to be more passionate in life, to let my loved one feel my love, to brighten up my life in any way, even life is so busy.

And now if you ask me to weight between my job and family, I think my answer is obvious. Cos my family can never be replaced and they are the one who were there when I need love and caring.

Higher Fever Brought Me To A&E

My whole Sat was surrounded with heat, unwanted heat, as my fever and pain did not reduce any, so basically I sleep the day away. I didn’t mention this before, actually I am allergy to Panadol which contain paracetamol, one of the necessary medicine for fever relief (but secretly n risky, I will take one to relief the fever. Seem this time it is not working) It hit my sis’s alarm when she sees my fever (at 38deg plus) have no improvement at all, so decided to bring me to A&E dept at TTS during the night time.

Only one visitor with one patient was allowed to enter the clinic, and pls be reminded to bring both I/C along, else entrance is not permitted. Waited for long two hours, finally got the doc consultation and exam I was virus infection (Let me keep the details to myself). I was told to admit “24hours observation ward” for further review.

Note: This “24hours observation ward” is not the same as normal ward.

So my whole Sunday was in the tire, painful, heaty and sleepy condition, ‘ruled’ by those scheduled routine. ‘Ms Tan xxxxx, pls take your medicine’. ‘Ms Tan xxxxx, time to take you temperature.’ ‘Ms Tan xxxxx, your lunch is here.’ ‘Ms Tan xxxxxx I need to inject you……..’ Then I can feel my life is closer to the recycle routine. No TV, no radio – that is one of the diff between 24hrs & the norm. Luckily special friend was there with me the whole day, with a lot of newspaper and magazine.

Blood test, ultrasound test done. All ok except no sight of improvement on fever.

Docs with senior doc consult review time, 8.30am, 3.30pm and 10.30pm. Each time I requested to discharge but insisted on the last round. Senior doc allowed me to go home at my own risk taken, to bring back my 38plus deg fever. 7 days hospital leave to let me rest at home.

It took quite a while to settle the discharge administration process and medicine collection, when reach home it was passed mid-night.

Monday, fever becomes my closest ‘friend’ and it bring along with diarrhea. Luckily my appetite return bit by bit and I realized how wonderful it is to be able to appreciate the food we always have. I am still fighting hard with these two ‘friend’ but seriously speaking, they gave me a lot of viewing too, will share with you all when I am getting better.

Fever

I am on leave today and suppose to do something for myself. But now, it was cancelled.

Had been struggling myself through the whole yesterday, went for one meeting after another. When reached home, I forced myself to eat a little and went to bed immediately. Slight fever and whole body is aching. Woke up at least once each hour to go toilet and to drink more water during the night.

Finally dawn arrived, I felt much better. Got myself to sleep more to 'compensate' the loss sleep during the night. My kind sister made some "Lin Yang" for me to drink, ate some breakfast but suddenly fever come again. I guess having fever is like this, up and down, up and down. Took one Panadol, and went back to sleep.

During my sleep, I dreamt all my Brazilian Kakis are in Singapore and we are having lot of fun. Guess I miss them so much, miss their fun-loving which I think I hardly have it in Singapore. Sometime, you really need to put some effort to make life a little more interesting in Singapore, else it can be quite bore & stress during normal routine.(You can be busy but still feel boring)

Management

I remembered taking one of the core unit - Mangement 100 not long ago, the lecturer taught us about how a manager should be managing his team. Such as how to organise, do planning, get the right man to do the right job, human relationship etc. All mentioned about IQ, but what about EQ?

This question pop out of my mind after I attended my so-called first time Management Project Meeting. My big boss wanted to have the feel of it since I am the project coodinator of this project. (Every project have a representative from each dept, like Commercial dept, Engineering dept and of cos, the project management to gather all info for the project for weekly meeting). And this Management meeting is held monthly from all section heads to further discuss about problems occur.

I can't be talking abou the topis discussed since it's confidential. But sitting behind the big round table, looking at all the managers (from section head to ED/MD), I can feel that it is so negative to become part of management. I am not saying there is no positive thinking and good behaviour among them, but looking at the fire shooting around (but yet I still feel so cold cos I am sick, again, sigh), the negative sides of it covered everything. Political, saying different stories in front of the big bosses, doing "tai chi", and for the first time I can realy feel why they always say big bosses see only big picture cos they don't even want to listen a word more about the explanation. Perhaps time consume. Could it due to each different characteristic or to join in the 'culture', everyone have to act 'big and fierce' throughout the meeting.

So I see no EQ in this meeting at all. I do understand it is not easy being a manager is not easy cos you have to due to more things, more (diff level) people, big picture. But does that means being a manger, you can throw pamper at others, hinting that at least I can throw up my stress???? My friend always said to me, you are not a manager so you won't be able to understand how stressful and tough the job can be. Maybe so, I am not in that position, so I never able to understand but try to understand, if they can use EQ (control their temper) in front of the big bosses, why can't they use EQ in front of his staff?

Another question out, did I ever respect any of my bosses here????

One At A Time, plsssss......

As usual, I went to work in the early morning and I met my colleague at the bus-stop, waiting for the feeder bus. Both of us looked so tire (as she is not fully recover from her sickness yet) and in fact we are tire. Then suddenly, I felt left side of my neck aching. Then I said to myself, "Oh, come on. Pls do not let all the aching problem come all at one time. I am so tire of having here pain, there pain. Do I age so much over night?"

So throughout my journey to work, I felt so uneasy and disturbed. I didn't even bother to go for breakfast when reached office and was hesitating whether should I visit my company doctor or not. Finally, I can't stand the aching which has more or less disturbing my life, I went to the medical center to see the doc. Told him my problem and most importantly, I can't get good sleep for the past few nights. This young doc (luckily not the other old doc who is strict and fierce most of the time) gave me one day MC to rest at home.

But my sister think I should go to visit Chinese doc again, as she felt the previous doc I went is not good at all. So my nephew drove me all the way from Yishun to Toa Payoh to see this doc, which he only see patients from 1pm to 6pm. The doc told me, while treating my problem, that the previous doc did not do the good job. The main problem was my nerve of both shoulder is 'out of place', so he just need to adjust it back. It was not as painful as the previous one and really, I feel so muc better after that. Then he said, I should feel even better tomorrow (Is he hinting me that if I still feel the pain, I can go back and see him FOC????).

And now, 3pm at home, I am going for a good sleep before going out for group discussion with my classmates in the evening. Frankly speaking, I still think I can't fully feel relax when I still have so much thing in my mind. My assignment, my attachment at work, the IQC........sigh, that's life. Anyway, go to sleep first.

Am I a Problematic Girl?

For the past two nights before falling asleep, I felt sudden pain at the front right side (below my stomach) of my body. I do not know what it should be call at that part of my body, but I can feel the nerve is pulling very tight that make me feel the pain. But what upset me most is that how little I know about the altas of my own body. Hmmm, I think not only that, I am poor in Geography, history, physical, chemistry, literature..... basically what I had learnt from school, I only know a little each.


So I go online to find out more about our body and I guess the part that I feel pain is appendictis (confined to intensive) (肠). Should be ok as long as the pain is bearable and short term.

Aiyo, am I a problematic girl? First is my back ache (when I stand too long, I can feel the aching), then follow by my neck which till now I can feel my nerve pain. And now is my intestine. Hope all these little pain don't become a big one.

When Things Gone...Still Remain Here

Remember I mentioned about the unforunate young girl who just passed away not long ago.

Her last published story on her blog has been read by more people and I saw read that too. I do not know her but she looked so sweet from the blog (I was told not to publish her blog address) More hints was told from her last story, at least she was not in the good health (as I was told she is in pink health) for the last few days as she complaint of having diarrhea, tough breathing, fainting, weak & dizzy etc. And she was facing a lot of stress at her new contract work due to heavy workloads and deadline etc. A lot of people also leave down their remarks after knowing she is not longer here.

Comments mentioned to sue the company and manager, some commented it's not the company fault, she should have to do something about it to handle her stress. Should quit and don't focus only on money etc. Each comment have their own opinion.

To me, I just pray for her to rest in peace.

I believe same incident happens around us, around the world. Work is important but health and family is even more important. So pls do not do nothing when you feel stress that you know you might not able to handle. Talk to your boss if you think you can't handle your workload, talk to your family or friends to ease the stress. We only live for once. So you decide, you can chose "Work to Live" or "Live to Work".

Oops My Neck

I have been attending my lesson for the last few weekends, and each week I wish I could have an excuse of need not to go.

This morning I have a good one..............I sprinked my neck when woke up and can't move much action. Quite in the pain (although still bearable) but I won't be able to carry big bag as needed to, so I decided to stay home to rest. Then I realised it is still better for me to be in good condition to attend the class. At least I get to sit down and learn new knowledge with my classmates.

Alamak, I think I still didn't cherish enough of each moment hor.

When Things Gone.......

This morning, one of my friends told me that one young colleagues of her just passed away suddenly. It was sudden news to them as she was so young (early 20s) and pink in health.

No one can predict the future, not even the next second.

That’s why I always keep telling myself ought to treasure every moment. Try not to be too emotional over little thing, always be as happy and cheerful as I can cos I never know what will happens to me the very next second. I always like to let my family and friends know that how much I treasure them and love them a lot. I might not have very luxuries or super good life, but at least I want to live my life without regrets and have a wonderful time when I am still ‘exist’.

My Lost And Found Hobby - Photograhpy

My family and friends are commenting that I had been taking lots of photos ever since I do bloging. But not many know that actually Photography is one of my hobbies, which is now so ‘well-hidden’ that I myself almost forgotten it too.

It started off when I was in Sec. One, I joined this Photography Club as my ECA subject together with Jennifer. I remembered clearly that I was not able to afford one full set of camera equipment at that time, so my kind teacher – Mr. Gwee lend me the whole set which belongs to the school under one condition that I have to handle with care. Of course, I have to pay for my own negative firm and the fee of developing photos.

That was one of my happiest moments. We went to Sentosa (I remembered we went there at least 6 to 8 time in that year cos most entrance fee is free), Zoological, Botanical Garden, some event venues etc. Mr. Gwee taught us how to change the lens manually, how to focus when taking photos, how to capture the beautiful moments. How to insert the negative firm, how to take them out when using ‘half of the firm’, how to put it back again when need to use the same one etc. How we can learn to be more patient and observant during the photo shooting.

OMG! It almost slipped off my mind that I ever knew all these before, after so many years busily with other things in life. Or perhaps so use to the user-friendly digital camera, just a click will do.

This good memories last for only a year cos Mr. Gwee decided to retire on our 2nd year, and the club was handed over to another teacher. It did not last long too due to whatever reason which I can’t recall. Eventually the borrowed camera set need to return to the school, and this hobby of mine ‘left’ me just like this.

Years later, I managed to get my own 2nd hand camera set from my friend and the passionate appeared again. I went around in Singapore to take photos (esp the Zoo cos I love taking photos for animals) most of the time, alone. But life was a bit tough for me to continue this hobby, so after few years later, ‘we’ broke up again.

Till today, with the small digital camera, it brings me a little more memories back to the past. I wish I could get a better functions digital camera one day and continue this little hobby again.

Sometime, life is too busy and rushes for us to stop down and have a good look at our surrounding. CAPTURE THE MOMENT IN LIFE is what I always hope I can do in my life.

My Learning Process

When life is down and seems a little tougher than your usual days, normally we said this is a learning curve that will make us a stronger person. Cause we all knew that in learning process, it is never easy and relaxing as we wish them to be (Oh I believe my most happiest moment in learning was during Kindergarden time). So by thinking and react more positively, life will be more cheerful and the sky looks brighter.

So during every stage of my learning, regardless in life or at work, I always hope that I can learn as much as I could, despite I might have different kinds of emotions at different stage of the process. Well, I don’t know is this a good and necessary sign (perhaps I am too emotional), but definitely I am heading towards getting a little more perfect each single day.

And this is what I always ask myself during my learning process: -

Observer – Am I observer enough to learn more than what I was taught or suppose to learn. Am I smart enough to get it understood at the shortest time if I could be more observer.

Patient – Am I patient enough when I was being left out or was told to wait. Knowing this is a test to see how patient I am, how much I can be endure with.

I do admit I am a quick-temper person; most of the time I am not patient enough to wait for just another second for thing to happen. Well, esp when you are at the junction when you have to wait a little longer for a person to guide you. I do believe as long as I am not learning to be more patient, I will always get this test. (Serve me right for not learning quick and smart enough, I guess)

Endure – When a person turns out to be a little unfriendly (as he/she have too many to handle), or instruction given was not clear. How should I endure and challenge these in friendlier way.

Hey, I do like this as this show how friendly a person is and how friendly am I too. And honestly speaking, a lot of Singaporeans are not as patient as they can be. Hmmm, I am one of them. Paiseh paiseh. But I am learning to be one, ok.

Complain – I am still confusing that when you mention to ‘somebody’ of whatever things that happened, is this consider complain. Or should I remain silent????

Frustration – And the above do make me feel frustrated and angry in my heart. Most of the time, it was ME who I am angry with.

See when facing my learning process, I do have plenty thoughts in my mind. Or perhaps I think too much (my friends always said I think too much and weird too). However, so far so good, at least my sky is still bright.